


Rebirth

by dreamyseraph



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Blood and Injury, Dom/sub Undertones, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hisoka Being Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter), Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), M/M, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Reader is on the brink of insanity but still has a decent moral compass, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyseraph/pseuds/dreamyseraph
Summary: after an accident during the fourth stage of the hunter exam, you contemplate your life as you begin to decay. the grim reaper decides to strike up a conversation with you before you go
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter)/You, Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

1

as your feet pound against the island floor, a crimson trail follows loosely behind you serving as a cruel reminder of your deteriorating state. 

once you're sure you're out of your target's eyesight, you collapse; panting violently as you hold onto your wound as tight as your weakened body will allow you in attempt to stop your bleeding. you know your efforts are slowing ; the large gash throbbing at your side had now morphed into an icy numbness sensation & your body could not hold out long enough until the end of the stage no matter how much fight still burned within you. 

you muster up enough strength to prop your back up against a tree that rests besides a secluded lagoon ; a beautiful sight to behold had you been here on different circumstances. the pink butterflies fluttering around you would've been a lovely sight had they not been here for your blood, too. 

your right hand still held onto your wound and in your left laid the last badge needed for you to advance on to the next phase of the exam. 

_ was it all worth it, even now?  _

you were easily in a position to surrender, you had no reason to fight this opponent that'd been twice your size and yet you refused to concede ; all because you needed to prove yourself to the point where it destroyed you.

your breath comes and goes shallow gasps ; your innermosts childhood fears creeping up on you as you contemplate what comes after your stubborn self will give your right hand permission to leave your wound and let your blood spill upon the land, taking in everything as your eyes close for one final time. 

you bite down hard on your tongue as you resist the urge to scream while contemplating the fact that you never needed to enter the hunter exam in the first place ; what exactly did you need to prove? that you weren't the weak, cowardly little child you once were? playing with death and getting yourself into something you knew you wouldn't be able to handle certainly wasn't the way to go about your trauma.

you think about where you will go after your  body could not hold on any longer and what it would be like once the grim reaper took you away. you always feared the spectral embodiment of death ; with the dark, hooded cloak adorning it's skeletal figure & it's scythe towering over a decaying victim who's soul it would lay claim to. the idea of it even now, ironically, still sent a chill down your spine. 

however, you never expected the grim reaper to appear before you in debonair clown attire of all things , making a _**tsk tsk**_ sound with his teeth as he looked down at your bloodied & beaten body. 

your mind is still sharp enough to recognize the figure as _hisoka_ , the man you'd witnessed turn another man's arms into flower petals due to minor impoliteness & the man who did not hesitate to attack an examiner twice. 

surprisingly, you still find yourself able to feel fear as you reactively thrust your badges towards him ; trying to back up as you realize you're still positioned against the tree. 

"take them" you choke up weakly, " _please_ , you needn't fight me for them. they're yours now."

hisoka raises his eyebrows, half amused. you pray that he wont do the unthinkable; to toy with you as you're nearing death whilst still trying to hang on for as long as you possibly can, something someone like him might enjoy. 

_ (you don't want your bloodlust to be set off moments before your untimely death either.)  _

" _oh_? after the fight you put up trying to retrieve them ?" his eyes turn to golden slits as they land on the wound you're still struggling to hold together, "i'd say you're still putting up a fight despite your condition, is that right♤ ?"

_ since when had he been watching you? _

fear overtakes your body as you realize the reluctant decision you must make ; you don't want your last moments to be shared in the presence of a psychopath , but you aren't about  to give him the chance to finish you off himself. 

your hand quickly moves from your wound and a ragged gasp escapes your mouth as you wait for the dark thereafter to consume you, shutting your eyes to avoid hisoka's cat-like gaze on you. 

but before your final choice can come to fruition , hisoka lowers himself uncomfortably close to you and presses his own hand on your wound so unnecessarily hard that it snaps you back to consciousness and slows your bleeding altogether ; toying with your fate just as you'd feared.

_ (because he's always the one in control.)  _

"are you _sure_ you're ready to let go, after the show you put on back there?" tears of pain and anger threaten your eyes as hisoka smiles at you, "i've never seen anyone of your caliber ooze such a strong bloodlust during a fight they had no chance of winning. you must have a lot ofpent up aggression, don't you ♢ ?" 

before you can retort, hisoka holds up your collected badges tauntingly. "why don't we strike up a deal, you and me?, he simpers, "i'll take these like you wanted and in return we'll find you some medical attention so you can go on living, how does that sound♡?" 

_what kind of sick game is this?_ every inch of you is seething now, wanting to fight until your very last breath ; bearing your teeth and ripping the man in front of you apart with only your hands in complete savagery. the familiar twinge of primal desire that appears in your chest before you allow your bloodlust to take over echoes inside of you for only a moment ; fortunately not long enough for the magician to sense. 

however amidst your wrath you realize, almost sickeningly, that you can't kill him if you're dead ; and now the thought of allowing him to help you live only for you to hunt him down and spill his blood once you're healed makes your heart pound with _fervor_.  never had you felt such a rush at the thought of bloodshed, but your slate had been far from clean; a mix of coping with the fact that you would never be able to return to your childhood home plus the need to completely destroy and reinvent yourself had led to one too many bad decisions & skeletons in your closet. 

_ (almost literally.)  _

you picture hisoka's face ; a mixture of blood & the colored face paint he used strewn across his (admittedly handsome but horribly timed) face as his eyes, for once, danced with the fear he made others feel as you towered over him with his life in _your_ hands. it would be _you_ who would kill the seemingly unkillable ; the pleasure and satisfaction drawn from taking the life that helped you regain yours would be almost euphoric. 

_ "deal," _ you finally spat back. 


	2. Resurrection

2

_**t**_ here is a fleeting moment when you are truly at peace with yourself, but it lasts only when you are asleep. reluctantly, your body bids farewell to apparitions of days prior and painfully adjusts to a new beginning.

in a few minutes your eyes will attempt to fully open, resisting the harsh fluorescents that illuminate the unfamiliar setting you find yourself in at first. the sounds of soft machinery will register and the woman who's been monitoring your vitals and caring for your wounds for the past few days will greet you, relieved that you're somehow alive after the injuries you sustained. she'll ask you the basics ; if you remember what happened prior to your arrival and if you have any family members the facility can contact for you – the latter question causing a pang of desolation to thrash against your chest as you answer _no_.

_what are you going to do with your life now that you're alive?_

failing the hunter exam meant you could try again, however the feeling of pain slowly returning to your body the longer you're awake serves as an unpleasant reminder that maybe you aren't cut out for this at all. this had been your first "real" goal since your youth, and now that it had been extinguished, being alive is starting to sound less enjoyable by the second.

quietly apprehensive of what is to come next, the remaining fragments of sleep bid farewell as your soul greets it's newfound existence.

***

starlight adorns the twilight sky that graces your room in the facility as you attempt to succumb to the call of sleep after an excruciatingly tiresome day of doctors and nurses flooding you with questions, several doses of painkillers, and one difficult session with a physical therapist who helped you regain your ability to walk. you figured out that you've been in an intensive care facility somewhere off the coast of zevil island ; existing in a comatose state for several weeks caused by a concussion you weren't even aware that you had in the first place. if you _were_ aware, it wouldn't have mattered either way ; apart of you always knew that entering the exam would result in your death, but now that it didn't you spent the majority of your renewed consciousness contemplating what comes after.

your hand gently brushes against your now stitched up gash, the thought of the magician occupying the darkest interstices of your mind. _hisoka_ …he had your life in his hands and yet he chose to resurrect you by dumping you here in exchange for badges he could have easily plucked from your corpse had you actually died. you were in no position to deny him. 

the thought of the magician also accompanies a strong sense of embarrassment once you realize your desire from weeks ago to slaughter him in a haze of bloodlust has dissipated as quickly as it formed. you aren't a stranger to this feeling, but the aftermath of emotions that accompany it are never easy. tracking down & disposing of someone you barley even knew anything about now sounds like a burden you aren't interested in carrying out, and you also take note of the fact that you probably wouldn't even get far in combat with him due to his terrifying set of skills.

yet despite everything, no matter how much time you spent in comatose ; lingering feelings of bloodlust cloud your mentality.

your eyebrows knit together in annoyance. _christ_ , why couldn't the prescribed drugs you were given earlier at least dilute these remaining feelings? its 4am, and your only options to silence the pleading voice of bloodlust that longs for you to nurse it are either killing the nearest living thing in the name of release or silencing it in salacity.

you mull over your choices and decide that killing an unsuspecting hospital worker who only has your best interest in mind isn't how you want to spend your first night alive , so you so you surrender to an act of lechery that is rarely familiar to your touch. with a shaky breath, your eyes flutter shut.

you're slightly irritated when you think about how all of this would be such a simpler act had you been more comfortable with your own physical touch and if you actually had something to make this more…pleasurable. you think about how nothing your imagination could possibly muster up right now would even be close enough to finish you & you think about how you wouldn't even be in this position had it not been for the magician and whatever game he decided to play with you that final day for the sole purpose of his own amusement.

hisoka.

you think about how intimidating the environment felt the first day you were in close proximity to him during the endurance test ; an overwhelming presence that made the air around you feel thick. you think about the scent of his sultry sweetness and sweat that filled your nose as you ran behind him, too apprehensive to run any closer or any farther. he had looked behind only once, his eyes meeting yours for mere seconds yet it lasted long enough for your legs to momentarily slow down, nearly giving out at the thought of becoming the magician's next target following the man who's armed turned to petals. you could've sworn he had smirked in that instance too ; a slight pouting of his lips tugging at the side of his face before turning back to focus on the examiner leading the group.

allowing your already astray mind to wander farther, you think about what it would actually feel like to slaughter him if you actually decided to act on bloodlust's past. how satisfying would it be to go through with the act and have him at your mercy ; would he who craves the release that comes with violence gain some sort of satisfaction from it, too? you imagine someone as disturbed as he would relish in it, practically instructing you through the deed and telling you how well you're doing ; giving you the reassurance you oh so crave and praising you for being the strong fighter that you truly are –

droplets of blood trickle onto your chest , snapping you back into reality as you come to the horrifying realization of how you had started before you intended to & how hard you had bit the back of your free hand in a desperate attempt to stifle the soft sounds of pleasure spilling from from your lips.

the low rattling of your room's window is almost annoyingly loud enough to capture your attention only you're too preoccupied in the mix of repulsion and confusion that overtakes you as you continue to stare at your hand in disbelief. _**no**_. you refuse to sort out whatever feelings this shameful scenario stemmed from and spend longer than you should attempting to write it off as a coping mechanism sprung from a near death experience combined with pent up aggression.

only right now you'll quite literally have to face them head on because the culprit behind your window rattling ordeal has presented itself, almost impossibly ; towering above you like it had once before as the shadows of the night sky accent it's features.

"still alive, are you? it's good to see my efforts in getting you here weren't for nothing."

_hisoka?_

you're silently hoping that this is some sort of ill-timed hallucination from the drugs you were prescribed earlier for your pain, only with your luck lately you rule out that hypothesis as you finally begin to compose yourself. you mentally scold yourself for not expecting this sooner, knowing well that he knew exactly where to find you if he desired ; only now you're not exactly sure what he wants and if he's here to finish you off himself. 

but before you can even muster up a response through the slew of uncomfortable emotions you're feeling, his golden eyes set their sights upon your bitten hand as a crease of amusement plays at the corner of his lips. you want nothing more than to turn away and avert your gaze or hide your face in the safety of your pillow as you wait for him to speak again ; taking slight relief in the fact that it's dark enough in your room to conceal your opposite hand that quickly hides itself under the covers.

" _hm_? when did you get that?" much to your discomfort hisoka moves closer to your bed, too nonchalantly as if he hadn't just broken into your room in the dead of night, "or had i interrupted something?" 

"no i…i did this in my sleep, on accident", you aren't sure how believable this statement is but you quickly attempt to divulge the topic, "how did i get here? _why_ are you here?"

(why did you come back?)

"a magician never reveals his secrets."

great, so he's still vague and annoying.

"though i suppose once that spark of vigor of yours returns you'll find a way to force the answers out of me, won't you?" before you can protest against it, he's now sitting at the edge of your bed as he maintains eye contact. "you _emitters_ can be so persistent, after all."

your brain practically stutters and whatever words you wanted to say before refuse to take flight ; his very statement paralyzing you. there was no way he could have followed you the entirety of the hunter exam long enough to be so perceptive of the type of nen user you are…or did he? the unknown extent of his knowledge terrifies you immensely. but as vexing as this conversation becomes ; his words admittedly still roll off his tongue in such a honey-sweet way that you would have taken him for a natural conversationalist and almost charming, had he not been who he was. 

"you're more transparent than you think," hisoka simpers as he continues, "emitters like you are rash and tend to put yourself in life threatening situations all for the sake of… _proving oneself?"_

he leers at you as if to ask for confirmation and you return with a scowl.

you still haven't responded to any of his statements because you refuse to indulge his entertainment any farther and apart of you is worried that the more you go back & forth with him, the closer the scent of bloodlust will be and the bigger a problem this whole ordeal will become.

he sighs, assuming he's the one that's going to be doing all of the talking tonight. "i could be here because i'm interested in the nen ability you could have activated at any moment during the exam that accompanies that unique bloodlust of yours. the one you could've easily used to escape the situation that nearly got you killed. when was the last time you used it, dearest? a bloodlust aura as potent as the one you harbor must be _ravening_. it would've been a shame for you to decay before reaching your potential."

before the rest of you has time to process what he had just said, the familiar farewell to humanity that undoes you seconds before you reluctantly allow your bloodlust to overtake you bears its fangs as you mentally plead for forgiveness ; refusing to unleash it upon the magician who remains bothersome albeit harmless for now. oh, but how _easy_ would it be? it is he who came to provoke you and the siren's call that is bloodshed is so tantalizing ; yet deep down you know you'll regret when the metallic taste of gore you've grown to loathe coats your tongue.

you wont. you _cant_.

you're hardly able to consider this a nen ability. it was no more than a stain of trauma that poisoned your soul and birthed you into this…unrecognizable entity from your darkest childhood nightmares in result. to succumb to this in front of the magician would be the equivalent of standing completely naked before him ; for him to view you this way meant complete and utter vulnerability.

"i'm…i'm…"

you can't speak. not like this. not when the voice emitting from your body is no longer yours and your chest heaves violently as you're trying your hardest to maintain your grasp on reality.

you pray that he won't linger any longer ; to let curiosity get the best of him meant it would result in his death when weeks ago the idea of slaughtering him sent a rush of ardor throughout your body when it now fills you with remorse.

(you're a much different person compared to when you aren't backed into a corner like a frightened animal who has nothing else to lose, aren't you?)

"intriguing, to say the least," the magician finishes for you, appearing more fascinated than unnerved by the sudden change in atmosphere that your bloodlust ridden aura has created. he saunters towards the window in which he had entered ; still maintaining eye contact with you through his peripheral vision. "by the way, that thing of yours gets easier to manage, don't fret it. i'll leave you to it, though, i wouldn't want to become your _prey_."

tears threaten your eyes to serve as a warning that you're about give out & allow this dormant entity within you take control ; yet you use every shred of humanity you have left within you to respond back as if doing so would counteract it. "you're… you need…you need to leave," you speak through staggered breaths, "just…wanted answers but you…you might…be hurt.…"

the magician raises a brow at your whole…situation yet remains fairly amused. "your aura can be quite intimidating, though i doubt you'd be able to get more than a few scratches on me with such unrefined skill. i was only kidding."

he takes a moment to think as he remains perched upon the windowsill, taking in the effect your own bloodlust has on you. his, of course, is much different yet they both have the ability of fill the emptiness of a room with waves of darkness without even thinking about it. he could offer you help in the moment, he _should_ , but he thinks about how he would respond if someone had attempted to do so much as even lay a finger on him during a haze of bloodlust and decides it's not the smartest idea.

so, he does the next best thing.

"if you still want answers after this is over then you may come find me, or alternatively i'll find you. and by the way, bloodlust can be used to your advantage, you know? but alas our paths will cross again, and once you've recovered fully i expect us to speak again."

in an instant, he's vanished as quickly as he arrived and though your exchange felt like it had been done in minutes, the sun had risen far too fast as if it couldn't wait to kiss the morning sky with warm orange & pink hues. the golden horizon serves as a reminder that for now you are safe from carnage's touch ; the spirit of unholiness abandoning your body as soon as the bright rays touch your skin.

your inner child wants nothing more than to sink back into your bed and pull the covers over your body and tell yourself that this is nothing more than a nightmare ; repeating this mantra silently just as you did when you were young before it all became too much and your parents found you at their bedroom door with tear stained cheeks.

you yearn for the sanctuary that is their bed, but you aren't six anymore and they aren't here.

you're alone. you're alone now and you desperately need someone to nurse you through the overwhelming feelings of existentialism that accompany nearly surrendering yourself to something so unrecognizable yet so…familiar. you think about the magician's words in regards to managing your bloodlust and want nothing more than to write it off as impossible and that he's still toying with you, only your desperation for stability begs for you to consider.

so despairingly, you do. 


End file.
